With the recent
catastrophe in New York City, many have found
themselves challenged to recognize and to move
beyond fears they normally don't acknowledge. It
has literally "hit us where we live."
As a person who works more
with wellness facilitation rather than crisis
intervention, I have recently witnessed many
coming through my door who normally would not
seek the guidance and care of an Intuitive. This
indicates to me that this particular crisis has
proven to be a "wake-up call," for some. Perhaps
others of us might be taking stock as well,
deciding that life is too short and valuable to
put off committing to a better way of life. This
is how tragedy, once grieved and mourned, can
contribute to a more meaningful existence for
those who are left to carry on. Are you a
healthcare professional? A caregiver to a family
member in need? A "natural giver?" What are you
doing to care for yourself in times of need? And
what is a caregiver's responsibility with regard
to those they minister to?
As you might have heard me
say before, the body is like a giant intelligent
sponge. Intelligent because it clearly holds
memories; a sponge because it acts as a buffer
for what we fail to process on the mental and
emotional levels. Unprocessed emotional debris
settles into the body and affects its innate
ability to communicate with us, via our
feelings, what it needs in order to maintain an
optimal state of health. The body/sponge holds
emotional debris until it is processed or
released. This can take hours, weeks or years,
depending on a person's habits and practices and
the body's saturation point. When this
saturation point is reached, as is common to
members of industrialized societies, one hits
what can be termed a stress wall. Past this
wall, stress moves beyond our ability to contain
it, out into whatever or whomever we come in
contact with. It moves out into the world
through our words, our touch, our thoughts and
actions. In some, stress finds an outlet through
strange and disturbing dreams. Others find
themselves being impatient and short-tempered.
Still others express stress physically. In all
cases, what most of us do not recognize is what
is being expressed on subtle levels when we
force ourselves to contain this powerful
energy. When we do not find constructive was of
dealing with stress, it finds its way out, often
infecting those we are attempting to help.
At the core of
stress-induced conditions lies a sickness of
the soul. Soul is the creative force that
keeps us animated and vital. When we shut
feelings down to protect ourselves so that we
can care for others in crisis without doing a
complete melt-down, Soul loses movement.
Stagnation or lack of movement is a contraction
of energy. Energy either expands or contracts,
but one thing it does not do is remain still.
The Earth is constantly spinning. Ocean tides
ebb and flow. Ideally our emotions or feelings
are fluid and changing. When we are stressed, we
freeze up. Our bodies and hearts go rigid. The
tides cease to move within us. It is at such
times that we fight the forces of Nature and
lose our balance. It is at such times that weak
places in our human circuitry fail, creating
emotional or physical symptoms or illnesses.
What does it matter that
our souls are being compressed or ignored? We
are, after all, dedicating ourselves to helping
others. Surely there is merit in this, some kind
of Divine dispensation which will compensate for
our lack of self care! Carol Pearson, Ph.D.,
author of The Hero Within, refers
to this type of "selfless" service as martyrdom.
When personal sacrifice "becomes an end in
itself, ... [it] does nothing to improve the
world." Worse than that, "martyrdom often is
used to camouflage cowardice. Martyrs can hide
behind this mask of being good and unselfish as
a way to avoid taking their journeys, finding
out who they are, or taking a stand." Though
society and many religions virtually deify the
Martyr, giving of oneself to the exclusion of
caring for the self adds nothing appreciable
to life on Earth. Rather it is disrespectful to
oneself and collectively contributes to, rather
than relieves, endless suffering.
Caring for the self means
we can then care for others from a position of
inner strength. We can only get to this core of
strength by supporting balance in our
lives. We need down-time, time to reflect as
well as to nourish our souls. Rather than
intervening in another's crisis from a state of
our own personal crisis, self nourishment and
care means we have room to absorb some of the
stress we have unknowingly deflected outward.
Especially when we care for others, we need a
regular routine of having others care for us.
Ask your caregivers what they are doing, on a
regular basis, to nourish and care for
themselves. Whether this means your life
partner, your physician or your massage
therapist, encourage them to engage in a regular
routine of self nourishment. Burnt-out
caregivers hurt themselves and this can lessen
the efficacy of their care for you. Making sure
we are all taking care of ourselves is mutually
supportive, loving and nurturing. Supporting a
healthy community of caregivers pays off for all
of us when we are in a position to give
something of real value to others, as well as to
ourselves.
